I find myself reflecting upon the many times that my children taught me valuable lessons when they were children, and certainly one of those times came to the forefront with my last musing about children speaking out.
Hearing a mother recount a happening the other week about how her daughter had interacted with a peer with condemnation for what the peer was doing, was related in a way to me that, although the child did speak out about unacceptable behavior, the manner was a bit harsh and un-bending. The mother seemed all right with that, and I found myself thinking perhaps another approach would have been better.
I immediately thought of an incident in our home that paralleled her story almost exactly. I received Susan’s permission to use her story in this way and to confirm that my recollections were correct. On the school bus, when Susan was about 10 0r 12, a neighborhood boy was doing or saying things that were completely inappropriate, so Susan called him to task vehemently, in not too kind words. When she related her tale to me, she said, that I said, “Susan, I think you were wrong in the way you handled this. You probably embarrassed him in front of his peers.” I didn’t tell her how to fix it.
Without telling me, she walked to his house a mile or two away and apologized to him for the way she talked to him, only telling me she had done this when she got back. I asked her what his reaction was and she said, “Oh, he and his sister, my age, stayed and played awhile.” I have been proud of Susan many, many times in her life, but never more proud of her than that moment in her childhood when she acted as adults should act.
I don’t know what happened to that young man later in his life, but I know what that mature response did for my daughter. It wasn’t me making her do something that must have been hard for her, but the fact that she did it. I saw this benevolent spirit played out many times in Susan’s life–whether in the school system for troubled children, or in the various courts of law seeing that people were treated justly.
Let the children speak!!
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