When Nathaniel asked whether anything good could come out of Nazareth, there were probably many folks outside our family who were probably saying the same thing about Fridley’s Gap. A small piece of real estate where society’s advances were still to come.

To our Father and Mother, it was just the place to raise a family, be resourceful, show the world what could be done with love, faith, kindness,hard work, and the right attitude about life.

And out of such a place, came a beautiful, confident, feisty little girl who built a life with her own family calling on all the traits of right living she learned while growing up there.

She had all the tools to handle the challenges of a career military life style, with frequent moving, scary deployment for her dear husband, and keeping her children grounded and focused on what was really important.

Mary, you fought the good fight on this earth, your spirit lives on in your children and memories of you live on in all of us who loved you. Rest in peace in the arms of God, my sister

A term I stumbled upon searching for a description of the grief I felt this October10th as I was informed of the death of my sister Mary!

Besides the normal heartfelt grief of losing a loved one, somehow an over riding sense of another kind of grief hit me unaware

How do you handle being the last member of your immediate family alive? You are the sole repository for all the memories, the family stories, the private happenings, the legacy, so to speak.

I found that grief counselors call this a disenfranchised grief!! Not recognized as a grief, but none the less a real feeling by many who have had it happen to them!

For those who know our family, Mary and I were the last of 11 siblings in a family that treasured that more than we can ever express. Love for each other was the hallmark of our varied lives and experiences.

So into my hands and heart come the ownership of that treasure. May I do it Justice, May I wrap those memories around me with all the joy that each of us felt in the role we played in it’s making.

Seeing two little Great grandchildren under a year old on the same day, and hearing conversations of feeding schedules and sleep deprivation, the view of real life from the edge isn’t such a terrible place to be!,

Seeing two young women with eyes aglow, and smiles on faces just glancing at their child just brought back a scene and a reality of other times and other little ones.

My heart is full right now with gratitude and satisfaction in remembering. Sleepless nights, worrying over feedings and health issues, personal needs put on hold for a time, all came rushing back in being offered this scenario by my granddaughters….yes, the view from here is priceless.

I actually do not know whether the small, rectangular silverfish item I hold in my hand right now is my friend or my foe! Oh the joy of clicking on the message threads of daughters and friends and relishing being able to connect so quickly with the ones I love! But also as quickly comes news stories that can send me into the angry, suspicious, unkind Ellen that I don’t like.

I know I am not alone in this situation for I read your comments daily, and take comfort in your companionship. I really would like very much to retreat from the politics of our world right now, refuse to be partisan, be wishy washy, be neutral for heavens sake. But I can’t.

Plato once said, “One of the penalties of refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors.” Not me!!!! Can’t do that. Where’s my phone!!!!!!!!!!

I got a welcome reminder of right living this morning from a dear friend’s post of a list of Mahatma Gandhi’s list of the seven deadly sins.

First of all, a reminder of how another religious follower can speak to us with truth and wisdom. I am giving you the list for your own personal perspective, and hope it gives you thoughts about our world at this juncture of time.

1.wealth without work, 2.pleasure without conscience,3. Knowledge without character,4.commerce without morality,5.science without humanity, 6.worship without sacrifice,7.politics without principle.

I have no words further as I mull these over and over in my mind. I trust you will too.

What a number!!! Beyond one’s ability to think that I could be that old. Supposedly, with age, comes wisdom, and tolerance, and forbearance, and all those good traits we are longing to embrace. But who knew that physically the opposite happens.

Please know this will not be a litany of aches and pains, but a celebration of life itself…..and how the little things that went unnoticed in a more active life, catch our attention and fill our lives with unspeakable joy!

Right now, on the Dofflemyer deck is a trap to catch a bird, built by a 7 year old who deeply believes he can catch a bird for a pet!! Why not? He has a long string attached that he can pull and catch the bird when it walks into the contraption! Great Grandma is not about to tell him it won’t work…I am a long tine believer in “why nots”.

Down by the warehouse is a raised bed with some pretty puny tomato plants in it that I discovered needed my attention. Before I knew it I was almost elbow deep in dirt!! CThis old Farm girl persona couldn’t abide weeds and out they came. For those few minutes I was not 88!

So, is 88 scary? Not really. I’ll just look for bird traps, or weeds to pull…especially the weeds of prejudice, or hatred, or indifference. Life is to be lived in gratitude and enjoyment. Thank you God.

Led

I told my girls once that I had to have an inspiration to jot down my thoughts, and while I wouldn’t call this being inspired, it is what occupies my mind these days.

At almost 88 years of life, one can expect a few glitches along the way, and so while not life threatening, they take a bit of maneuvering to say the least. Cataract surgery, and blood pressure spikes get my attention and medical help to solve them. Love medical advances that do just that!!

A upcoming move to a retirement community is also a part of this beautiful life plan that the daughters and I have agreed to embrace. A new phase, a new adventure that offers much to me and my family.

I have never lost my zest for life, my absolute desire to make a difference in this world by positive encouragement, absolute acceptance of all mankind, and a faith and certainty of where all goodness originates……thanks be to God,

Picking up a new book and anticipating what treasure awaits me is one of my favorite life time habits. And never more important now in this more “mature” phase of my life.

This love and fascination with books began a long time ago when my Mother saw that love was recognized and fulfilled as best she could. Fairy tales, history stories, weekly readers, my

hunger was fed. This weekend I got to watch a 2 year old great- granddaughter dance around in Ariel costume, then switching to Snow White, so I knew someone had been reading and introducing this little girl to all the magic a world of reading affords!!

George R,R. Martin, the author and TV Producer once wrote…”A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies!”

I just started a new book!!!

Well I am tired of hunkering down! I am tired of lies and threats, of violence, of hatred. I am troubled that we are the “bully” of the world when we were once the hero. I think as a nation we have been in a period of dis-belief!! “This can’t be happening!! We are better people than this!”

Hunker Down,, an old expression I heard from my Dad whenever I expressed fear or anxiety over some happening in my life. “Ellen, hunker down. It will be alright!” Meaning, to prepare for it, to plan a defense,or reaction to it, and trust you are able to withstand it!!!

What comes after Hunkering Down? Dad didn’t tell me! I know my safe little haven seems a bit self-serving right now when those elected to protect you and me are either causes for the turmoil or inept to make it better! If you, like me, are hunkering, help me find that next place.

Somewhere in the midst of the business of preparation, the shopping, the cooking, the traveling, the weariness that occupies most of our time this month, Christmas still comes.

The miracle God bestowed upon mankind doesn’t come all wrapped up or bought from a shopping mall, but in the simplicity of a baby’s birth.

Lest we forget, find room for the gift, find acceptance for the hope, find peace of mind in opening God’s Christmas!