GRANDMA……..

This post is for all the Grandmas out there, and those who will be grandmothers. You are fortunate. My daughters are now moving into that high position now, and this is the only advice I can pass on with confidence.

On my dresser in my bedroom is a framed, hand written and decorated sheet of paper that I treasure. It is simply entitled “grandma.” By Jane.

Jane listed 11 things that make me Grandma and I hope they help you appreciate how little it takes to set you apart as something special to a grandchild. So here they are as Jane sees me. 1. My grandma sings in a choir. 2. My grandma has 7 daughters. 3. My grandma is a good cook and baker. 4. My grandma has grey hair and brown eyes. 5. My grandma is super nice to me and my family. 6. Whenever I walk through the door she comes to hug me. 7. My grandma loves to go on hikes. 8. Me and my grandma love telling stories to each other. 9. My grandma has so many good treats. 10. My grandma listens to me when I talk, 11. My grandmother and I like to eat perogies

I think numbers 8 and 10 are my favorites and her Polish heritage explained the perogies!! Jane was about 10 when she wrote this, and entering her teen years now with the grace and confidence we want to see in young women. And let all of us grandmothers take pride that our role was a part of that transformation.

We talk about the “circle of life” as the inevitable path we follow in this world. We are born, grow, thrive, age, and die. But, all of us have experienced that circle being skewed by circumstances or illness, or some unexpected tragedy that defies the norm, and we shake our heads and pray for understanding.

Our family is caught in that dilemma now as a dear life, shortened and puzzling send us struggling to accept a broken circle. Our prayers are more pleas for understanding. Our minds are full of fears as to our own vulnerability. Our hearts bleed in love for a mother saying “This can’t be true!”

This serves as a reminder for all of us to appreciate our life’s circle, and remember that a circle really doesn’t have an end!! Round and round it goes and never ends! Thanks be to God.

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With so many people losing jobs today, and the sweeping upheaval in society, made me think of my Uncle Ed.

Most of my writing, as you know, has been a running history of our family, in hopes it both informs my children, or at least entertains them about who they are and perhaps why!

Uncle Ed was Mom’s brother, and when Granddaddy Marshall died, each of the children inherited some substantial money. Uncle Ed took his money and moved to Chicago, where he went into business and had heavy stock investments. With the Great Crash of 1929 and the resulting Great Depression that followed, he lost all of it.

Moving to California, leaving family and defeat behind, the only job he could find was a janitorial position in the types of businesses he once owned. But here is the story I want to remember. Every day he put on a full business suit, white shirt, ascot tie, shiny shoes, complete with walking stick and went to work. At work he put his clothes in a locker and put on coveralls and work shoes, and worked all day, changing into his street clothes and walked home.

I won’t begin to explain this, but I think it just might be what we need to do right now with the climate we wake up to, we need to put on our best attire, our best mind set, our best attitude and go to work, then putting on whatever it takes to clean up the dirt and rubble wherever we find it.

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When did it change? Where did I miss the clues? Why am I out of step with so many people? I am 86 years old, great grandmother, gentle, benevolent old lady who gets labeled as “Woke” for the same values I have held all my life! Never heard that word before a few years ago, hurled at those of us who embrace a tolerance of those somehow dismissed by some of our peers.

Where did my values become the object of scorn and hatred? How did I become who I am? Maybe, just maybe, growing up in a home where love and belonging swirled around our house as free and important as the air we breathed.

Maybe it was being married to a man whose very core exuded an air of love and acceptance. Like loaning a car to two young men on 81, whom he had never seen before, with only a phone number to call. That number proved troubling, but it never stopped my dear one from doing the same kind of thing over and over in his lifetime.

Maybe, just maybe, it’s believing what Matthew: 25 in the Bible says. Maybe its message has put a call on my life that my parents and Bill heard so clearly and passed it on to me. Not maybe, but absolutely!!

The first thing I learned, kicking and screaming for my own opinions on care, was that the experts were right all along! I did need that new knee. I wasted a lot of time with stop gap remedies that lasted a bit, but failed to stop the hurting.

So, to all my peers who have had a similar medical need, you are a hero and a winner in every sense of the word. The unheralded heroes in this story are the medical staff and physical therapists who stepped in where I failed and made me well again.

The things since surgery that I learned to accept were more about changing Ellen than about the steps to healing that occurred. First, I learned I have no patience with any weakness or perceived failure on my part! Did I really need that pain medicine, was the pain a figment of my imagination, surely no one had felt this before! With a very easy medical history, I hadn’t had to test my tolerance of long term discomfort and mental toughness.

The real heroes of this adventure were the medical and therapists who overlooked my personal prejudices and healed me.

Continue reading “What I Learned From A Knee Replacement……..” →

At 86, I guess it is normal, or it seems to be for me, I am speechless as I see scenes of my grandchildren and great-grandchildren in throes of Christmas celebration. So familiar, yet so strange! Certainly, Santa has a lot more imagination than when I was a child.

For all octogenarians and a bit younger, here is what I remember that Christmas was like as a child. First of all citrus fruit was a treat, as oranges and grapefruits were not a year round treat. The tree, was nearly always a cedar, or pine cut down in a field on the farm with tinsel and popcorn the main decorations.

Candies that I remember were orange slices and coconut bon bons and peppermint soft balls that fell apart in your mouth! Foods like oysters and country hams, were expected and usually the feasts lasted the whole season long.

Our family usually got a new game board of checkers or monopoly that were a treasured addition to a long winter night around the fire. Always, always, on what doll, or toy Santa might bring me, was a long, flannel nightgown, whose warmth covered little toes and feet in an unheated bedroom upstairs!

This little blog is just to get you recalling your Christmases. What was your celebration like, your favorite gift, your family traditions.? Have fun recalling them, and share if you will.

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I am sitting here in my recliner, iced wrapped new knee, timer set for next activity, daughter Cathy cleaning my kitchen, packing away hard boiled eggs, asking me what I need and honestly, I don’t know what I need!

It’s a brand new perspective on my life. My girls asking what I need or want, and it takes a bit of adjusting to such a scenario! I keep thanking them for all the big and small tasks they have assumed , and they chuckle a bit for me even thinking I need to do that! New perspective

So maybe it’s not anew thing, or maybe it’s the age old thing that God intended us to be called Family!

When I was a little girl, and my life got a bit scary and uncertain, I knew exactly where to go. There was a big upholstered rocking chair in our living room, and a warm wood burning stove that sent waves of warmth and comfort over a little girl as she rocked away her unease

Sometimes, if she was lucky, her Mom, sensing her unease, joined her there and made those bad feelings vanish even faster.

But today, there’s no big rocking chair, no Mama presence to chase away the fears, and doubts. Now I am the Mama, I am the warmth my children need as the calls come. Somehow I need to find that warm fire again, I need to impart some wisdom that make the pangs of a new realty in the world disappear. So, help me God!

I deliberately left words off from this title, because I can’t think of what to say about the past few weeks that have impacted so many in this nation, and for dear ones in our own family.

What do I say to my daughter who sobs as she describes the desolation of a city she loves? What is the proper response to “ We are dipping water out of a friend’s swimming pool to flush our toilets”? Or, “I just got some ice to preserve food in our ice chest from this wonderful Baptist church in the neighborhood.”

She is resilient, fearless, hopeful, and still my little girl, and Mom could only help load her car to the roof with things we thought she would need, like my almost full propane tank. But she and Jen’s most precious cargo were things to help others! Like money stuffed in a pocket by a friend, checks from family and friends, toys and games for children who lost everything they had.

So, These Times, these horrible times , just might turn out to be those times when a people find out what is important. When our neighbors needs are more important than our own. When Our Jen and Betsy, like thousands of others, are willing to sacrifice their comfort, to help those who have no other choice. Thanks be to God.

What his question made me recall was, what in the world ever gave me the courage to begin expressing my self in writing?? It all began with a teacher!! And I bet, if you let yourself think about it, there was a teacher in your life that affected you in various ways that gave you an acknowledgment of some ability that lay dormant until that time.

Someone last night asked me a question that sent my mind reeling when I tried to answer his question. After reading one of my books, his question was how I could remember and express the short vignettes on life as I saw it! I absolutely claim no lofty, unforgettable skill, but a deep passion to gather the words that have been there for as long as I can remember in my heart. If they bring joy or contemplation on your part, good! John Heatwole, the local writer and artist called himself a Word Gatherer!

Timid, quiet little Freshman at Montevideo High School, by chance was assigned the most feared, brilliant, harsh critic of an English teacher. That was me. First essay assignment handed in with trembling,hands. Just sure that what I had penned would never be up to her high standards.

The next day in class, keeping my head down, reading an assignment, I was called to her desk. Longest walk I ever took! She just looked at me, and said, “You are a writer! Best thing I have read in a long time.” I have no idea how I made it back to my desk, but I floated on air the rest of that day, and never again feared putting a few words on paper. Another teacher, my freshman year of college, again, reputation as being highly critical, but chose one of my writing for the Freshman Pen … Literary Magazine.

So never underestimate the power of a teacher, and for my daughters who chose that occupation, I am in awe of you and your dedication. And my small gift of writing is just one example what can happen by your greater gift of encouragement to those in your care.